TROPICAL. FUCKING. MERGE.

im not sure if any game has captured my attention to this extent. negatively, of course. its a mobile merge game and thats about it. the only other mobile games that destroyed my life were fuckin My Little Pony magic kingdom or whatever the hell it was called. and honkai impact 3rd but i dont count that and its for another time anyway.

i think ive always been drawn to tropical beachy themes. cant recall too much off the top of my head other than the fact that Alvin And The Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked was my favourite movie as a kid. that movie sucks btw. i now hold the opinion that the first movie is the only good one. anyway thats not the point. the POINT is that out of all the lameass merge games i saw on bluestacks is that this one caught my eye. its… fine. its a merge game. but oh my fucking god do i spend too much time on it. and i mean, its got that annoying ‘wait for the timer’ mechanic that all mobile games have these days so its not like im completely glued to the screen. i am but its for other reasons.

the animation is a little creepy. its got this tweening thing going on, actually more like shit live2d animation but i really doubt that the devs used that. probably just one of those filters where you make the face talk or something. i didnt really notice it on my first playthrough. YEAH. first playthrough.

so the first time i played it was on bluestacks, but it signed me out of the account i used and i can’t remember my password. which means i also cant play tge fuckin My Little Ponyyyyyy fuckin game…. which i also spent an egregious amount of time on. i had that shit on lockdown. the dancing minigame glitched when i became friends with myself on a separate instance of bluestacks before they realised i was the same person, so i got double points. awsome. and i had a list of the fuckin ponies i was gonna win in a txt file, in the order i was meant to receive the based on the Goddamn Fandom Wiki. (fuck Fandom fr. so annoying).

im off track again. the point is that i got sorta far in tropical merge on the bluestacks thing before dropping it cuz i probably got burnt out or something. Good. but now im playing it again. i was on Crazy Games cause i wanted to play Pou (i had never played it before) all i knew was poufodido or however you spell it and how PATHETIC it looked. truly. i wanna buy a plush of that stupid thing and throw it at a wall. give it a ciggie. idk. Maybe let it sit in the sun for a while… but a BIG FUCKING CROW might steal him!!! anyway was gonna play pou, and then i saw it.

on the website sat the thumbnail for Tropical Merge. hovering over said thumbnail produced gameplay footage that i had long since forgotten. it beckoned me. the whole world faded around me, my vision laser focused on the bright colours that i not so fondly recalled.

there was no thought.

my cursor moved without hesitation, and i clicked on the game.

...

as i came to, staring at the opening sequence for the game (some shitty plot about a missing grandpa); my only thought was:

‘Are we really doing this to ourselves again?’

it was too late for thoughts like that though. i was running on muscle memory at that point, merging haystacks into cows and making orange trees.

im hoping this phase ends soon. its embarrassing.

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